FAQ

Posted by hatemachine

Frequently Asked Questions

Gosh, what is this?

It’s a blog, you sodding twit.

Wicked!  What’s it about?

The blog will deal primarily with my interests, including (but not limited to) Japanese animation, manga and figures.  I might also post something happening on in my life, but the events that transpire in my existence are so frightening that you might just vomit in terror.

Golly, a lot of people do that already.  What makes your blog different?

I will try my best to be both as funny and as offensive as possible.  There’s a good chance I don’t mean what I will write here – it’s all in the name of comedy.  I liken it to a pie to the face, except replace “face” with “groin.”  Nobody will get off easily.  After all, I must live up to my “hatemachine” moniker.

Shucks, speaking of, just who are you anyway?

I am an Asian twenty-something residing in San Jose, California (or “COLLIE-FOUR-NUH”, as Governor LAST ACTION HERO blurts out).  My introduction to anime started off innocently enough, watching various episodes of Robotech and Voltron on channel 42.  Then in 1991, through a close family friend, I was introduced to anime in its native language, and it was none other than a bootlegged copy of the Hokuto no Ken film.  Others that followed included Dragon Ball Z: ChikyÅ« Marugoto Chōkessen and Ranma ½, freshly recorded off of Japanese broadcast TV with all of those weird ass commercials.

This family friend would continue to supply me with various shows, ranging from classics such as Gunbuster, Bubblegum Crisis, and Record of Lodoss War to overlooked gems like Dangaioh and Combustible Campus Guardress.  But it wasn’t until Hideaki Anno shoved his dick into my mouth and forced me to swallow did I begin to fully appreciate what I was watching.  And watching is what I’ve kept doing for what is two decades now.

Gee willikers, that is fascinating!  Do you have any favorite titles?

Way too many to list here.  That said, if a big guy named Tiny threatened me by saying he would push me and make me fall onto a bullet and have it lodged in my spleen unless I named any one favorite show, I’d probably answer “fuck off dick cheese,” and then he would proceed to push me, and then I’d fall onto the bullet, and then I would cry in agony, “FUCKING SHIT, I GUESS COWBOY BEBOP OKAY YOU GIGANTIC POON FACE.”  And then he would say, “THAT’S BETTER FOO” and walk off.  I’d flip him off while began walking, and then he’d look back at me and I’d pretend I was still in pain.  But as soon as he began walking and turned away again, I’d flip him off a second time.  Because I’m awesome like that.

Cool beans!  Is there anything else besides anime/manga that you’re into?

Photography, art and creative writing.  Shit is hella sick yo.  I’ll try and integrate those into this blog on occasion.

Neato!  So I’ve been meaning to ask…why go with “WELCOME TO BONERTOWN” for a blog name?

Why the hell not?

Sweet porkchops and apple sauce!  Okay, I think that’s all I wanted to know.

I hope you get stuck in a sitcom starring Sinbad and Jerry O’Connell.